Victoria Kate Lynn - "Torti"
WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT?
Some of you will think that I am either sad or mad or maybe both, and of course you are entitled to your opinions but when you have read this article, I would dearly like to hear from you with your honest views on the matter.
I am happy to hold myself up for ridicule, because I am convinced that there is a deep meaning in the following factual story which is a blow by blow account of what has happened to me (and sometimes Susan as well, and sometimes a house full of people) since I finished the eleven months of saying Kaddish (the Memorial Prayer) for our Darling Daughter.
I have never gone out of my way to look for signs, but I now feel that I cannot ignore what has happened and must tell you, Victoria’s friends, all about it.
I must first mention that at the Leviah (Funeral) I spoke about how Victoria shone her special light on this world and how she sparkled like a precious gem.
Secondly, I must mention as most of you will know, a beautiful poem was written about Victoria o.h. by Russell Cooper, a very close family friend entitled ‘Let There Be Light’. If you have not read it, I urge you to do so. It can be found in the early part of the ‘LETTERS’ section of this website
Thirdly, it has to be said that Torti always loved to hear me tell people that Susan and myself were married at 4.00p.m. on 4th January and two years later, Torti was born at 4.04 p.m. on 4th January: ‘All the fours’, so to speak.
I finished the 11 months of saying Kaddish on a Friday afternoon and in the early hours of the Saturday morning I woke up, looked at my bedside clock and it read 4.44 a.m. I suspect that had this happened one week earlier or later, I would have not taken any notice, but because it happened immediately after I had just finished saying the Memorial prayer for her, it really hit me that this was almost like an acknowledgement from her, a thank you if you will, for having gone to prayers three times a day without missing once, which fortunately I was able to do with the help of the Al-mighty. During the following weeks, three more incidents of clocks and video displays randomly showing 4.44 happened to us.
The speech that I delivered at the Memorial service on 21st November 2004, included the analogy of when the lights fuse in your house at night and your world is plunged from the warmth of light to the cold of the darkness. The day I completed writing the speech, our house was plunged into darkness…yes the fuses blew, not once but twice and it took me about half an hour to get them working again, and there was absolutely no apparent reason. The following day I had the house electrics checked out and no faults or irregularities could be found.
A couple of days later I went for a haircut, and was relating the story to my barber. When I got to the bit about the lights actually going out in our house twice, all the lighting in the shop went off and then came on again…and then went off and then came on again for the second time.
When it happened, I must confess, I grasped hold of the arms of the barber’s chair, having been totally un-nerved, and then turned around not knowing what else to expect to see…Of course, there was nothing else to see.
On the 21st November, after the Memorial service, we had a few people back to our house and you can guess what happened…once again, the lights fused twice, again two different circuits and no reason for it happening. Was this our Darling Torti thanking people for their wonderful tributes?
Several days later, Abbie had returned from Glasgow to visit my Mother in hospital, and also to visit my Mother-in-law who was having her 80th birthday party. Abbie was tired from the drive and went into Torti’s bedroom for a mid-afternoon nap. About an hour or so later, Max her boyfriend went upstairs to wake Abbie up and actually proposed to her in Torti’s bedroom. At around the same time or certainly not very long after this, our house was plunged into darkness again. Was this some sort of a sign to signal Torti’s approval of the engagement? We all know she was very keen on Max for Abbie, and she was very fond of Max, hoping he would end up as her brother-in-law. Unfortunately Torti never lived to see it, or perhaps did she see it? (The engagement)
In the Jewish religion, it is said that there is no such thing as a coincidence, and that everything happens for a reason. Everything is part of the Al-mighty’s plan.
But my question is that even if we were encouraged to believe that there are such things as coincidences, how many times must the same thing happen over and over before it no longer is classed as coincidence, and also why do these things happen at poignant times?
I related the above, to our American cousins, Wayne and his wife Sue, and I was absolutely amazed to receive the following emails from him some 10 days later, which I think, prompted me to finally put this all down on paper.
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FIRST EMAIL: You recently told us about the problem that you were having with your lights. I told Sue the story at that time.
A few days ago we had some issue with the electricity in our home and thought nothing about it.
Last night, we had the weirdest situation I have ever seen. Sue and I were in our bedroom. Some of the lights went out BUT the TV and other lights stayed on...in the same room. I open the door to our bedroom and heard the battery back-up warning beeping from Sue's computer and went down stairs to turn it off. My computer was fine and hers had been cut on from electricity and was on battery. I turned it off and went upstairs.
Sue said " Hi Torti, we’re glad you're with us and you are welcome here" or something to that effect. The lights came back on and stayed on ever since.
Coincidence or unknown?
THIS IS NOT A JOKE !!
love
wayne and sue
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SECOND EMAIL:
It happened again tonight from 6:00 PM to 6:10. Some circuits worked and some were off. The breakfast room was fine and the kitchen was off. My side of our study was on and Sue's side was off. Makes no sense. Wayne.
THIRD EMAIL: No fuses blew. I checked all of them myself. Wayne.
I wrote the above several months ago, and it has remained on my computer until now. But to update the story, our lights have ‘fused occasionally since the above for no reason at all, and again on different circuits. However this week, they have been going off daily, sometimes twice and three times a day, and of course this week is…well we all know what tragically happened this week exactly two years ago.
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I have kept this little gem until the end, although chronologically, it should have been mentioned at the very beginning of this story. When Victoria was born at 4.04 p.m. on 4th January 1983 (all the fours i.e. 4.44, as mentioned earlier) St. Mary’s hospital was plunged into darkness and emergency lighting was provided by hospital generators.
The question I now ask myself is….. was Victoria actually an Angel in disguise?…I suppose now you do all think I am mad…….or do you?
Please, please let me know your thoughts about the above and if anyone has experienced any genuine, unusual ‘happenings’, please let me know.
I feel that we are definitely not ‘alone’.
Bryan.
(c) 2006 VictoriaLynn.co.uk